False Advertising: Spanx for Your Apartment Community

Dating websites have helped those of us in the world who have “great personalities” find others who are willing to go out with them.  It pretty much takes all the shame out of someone saying no, and you can more or less mold yourself online so that “no” isn’t even an option.  Photoshop, anyone?  Ladies, you know we all already do it on Facebook.  And you can take as many pictures at just the right angle as you want in order to get the best picture possible!  Then just stretch it a little to make yourself look thinner, crop out that extra arm fat, cover blemishes, and add a little shading for abs and cleavage.  Brightening your eye color also adds a world of difference.  And voila!  In no time, the date requests will come rolling in (that is, if you left out “WoW” and “LARPing” from the interests on your profile.

Now, you aren’t home free yet.  Even if you do have a great personality, those altered photos might be considered false advertising by your date.  All I can say is, I hope they don’t just walk in, look at you, and walk out.  But at least you used a photo of yourself – cause I can guarantee if you put up a picture of Eva Longoria or Brad Pitt, you aren’t fooling anyone.

Ok, I know by now you’re thinking, Why am I reading about creating an internet dating profile on an apartment marketing blog?  Stick with me here.  Say you are now creating a website for your apartment complex – obviously you want to include pictures showing your community in the best light possible.  For example, what potential resident wouldn’t want to come check out this place?

The CARIBBEAN in my backyard?? Holla!

So the picture of the lady that was layered on clearly was taken in the ‘90s, but who is even paying attention to that?  I’m ready to get my furniture moved in and go lay out under that palm tree.

Now, how about something that appeals to those who would rather go on an adventure than lay out in the sun?  Done:

Yeah, I’ll definitely be buying myself a Seaplane after moving in.

Not only can the residents of this place get on a Seaplane on a whim, but apparently they can stand in the middle of a lake, too.  Sign me up.

But…wait a minute.  How is there a Caribbean-quality ocean with white sandy beaches AND an Alaskan-esque lake with a mountainous backdrop so close to this place?  Is anyone else a little suspicious?  They couldn’t have used STOCK PHOTOS could they?

No, no, that couldn’t be the case.  I’m sure it’s just that the community is in a magical land that offers any terrain you could possibly want.  Yeah, that’s it!  See, the address is …… Kenmore, WA ……. WTH??!

Is your apartment advertising funding iStockphoto.com?  Share with us at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!


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